Drifting into Nothingness
by SBelugas21
Summary: A post season 3 finale on what I would imagine season 4 to start as. Spoiler alert. Kate finds herself fading in and out of consciousness and eventually floating above her own body observing what is going on around her unconcious body.
1. Anywhere But Here

Disclaimer: I do not own Castle or any of the characters mentioned. All rights go to ABC and Andrew Marlowe.

Thanks for taking the time to read or even skim! Reviews are appreciated.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 1: Anywhere But Here<strong>

She spoke each word and meant it. Although she felt like there was a knife in her gut, she said it with sincerity.

"Our Captain would want us to carry on the fight."

She had to pause because her eyes began to blur with tears. Trying to hold them down she spake a few morewords.

"And even if there is one..."

She stopped after she heard a shot in the distance. Then she faintly heard Castle's familiar voice yell her name.

"Kate!"

Not a second later, she felt the most immense pressure she had felt in her entire life. 'Oh my God. I'm shot. But...' Before she could finish her thought, Castle had grabbed her and thrown both of them to the ground. Her head slammed against the ground but that pain was blocked out by the radiating one coming from her chest.

Castle was layed on top of her. She saw him slowly lift his head so he could see where and if she had been hit. As she watched him scan her body she knew he had seen the wound becasue he imediatly looked up and got a sick look on his face. He locked eyes with her just as a tear trickled down Kate's cheek. She tried to reach up to him but there was a dead limp feeling to her entire body.

"Kate please! Stay with me, Kate! Don't leave me please! Stay with me, okay?" He pleaded. The pain was excruciating and Kate could not breathe no less speak. She wanted so badly to call back to Castle. She wanted to be in the safety of the precinct doing paperwork. Hell, she would rather be listening to Castle make witty remarks then be in the pain she was in. She wanted to be anywhere but here.

Air was not entering her lungs. It was hardly exiting. She realized that this could be it. This could be her last breath. As she tried to gasp she heard something. It was faint and distant but she knew what it was.

"Kate. I love you. I love you, Kate."

It didn't ease her pain like she wanted it to. She just continued to get weaker and weaker until the edges of her vision started to darken. It closed in until she could only see one thing: The deep blue eyes of the man who had told her he loved her. She closed her eyes almost in relief.

It was cold and dark. Kate was alone. There was no noise and so she just sat there. A small flutter of light slowly engulfed her and she wanted to shield her eyes but again, she didn't have the strength to move. When her eyes got use to the light, sound slowly got louder to where it was audible. She heard the sirens feint cry. Then she saw a hand reach over her. Most likely grabing something to stop the bleeding. 'Blood.' She was soaked in her own blood. It was making her sick. The blackness started to come over again. Right before it did she felt a hand slip into hers. She tilted her line of sight so she could barley see Castle. On his face was a look of terror and concern. His eyes were puffy and red. She saw one single tear in the corner of his eye slowly start a decent down his pale face. It reached his chin and was about to drop when the blackness took over again. She heard one last thing until it was dark and cold again.

"I will always be here." It was definitely Castle speaking.

And by those words she was eased into a long peaceful rest.

As her eyes started to open she saw something she didn't expect. Herself. She saw herself laying in a hospital bed motionless. Kate then realized that she was floating. Just hovering over her own body about ceiling height. It took her a moent to relax and know what was going on. 'Am I dead?' She thought to herself. 'No. Definitely not.' She knew this because she recognized a heart monitor in the corner of the room. It was still beeping.

She also recognized one other thing. There was someone in the room. She realized this was odd becasue it was dark outside and the clock read 3:04. 'Visiting hours are over. Everyone should be home sleeping,' she thought to herself. It had been a full day with her getting shot, the funeral. She was even more taken away by who it was and who it wasn't. She expected her boyfriend. The one who had said that he cared about her. Instead it was the one she had conyinually pushed away and had been in a fight with recently. 'Why is Castle holding my hand? Better yet, why is he here at three in the morning?'

After that thought, she heard the heart monitor beep really fast then form a straight line. At the same time the image of that room started to fade and everything went black again.


	2. Hovering

Here is Chapter two! If you like it tell me! if you think it's aweful tell me! Feedback Puhlease!

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the charcters mentioned!

* * *

><p>Chapter 2: Hovering<p>

Kate woke up again. She was still above her own body just hovering. This time, it was brighter outside and she could barely hear the low whistling of birds outside her window over the chattering of everyone around her. The hospital room had been brought to life with balloons, card, and flowers encircling her bed. Since there was nothing better to do, she tried to listen in on a conversation between Lanie and Castle.

"Do you think she will be waking up soon?" Lanie asked.

"Doctor said that it's impossible to predict when she will," Castle answered not being able to take his eyes off Kate. "She gave us quite a scare in the middle of the night. They were able to stabilize her but it could have increase the time in which it takes for her to wake up. It's just been really emotional and-"

"I know Castle. You don't have to pretend like you're fine," Lanie interrupted placing a hand on Castle's shoulder. "We are all having trouble sleeping knowing that Beckett's life is in danger. I can't imagine how this must feel. Just sitting here watching her in pain"

Castle thought for a moment and sat down in the chair next to Kate grabbing her hand wishing she would squeeze his back. "I'm really not fine. I try to hold in my emotions when you guys are around. I just love her so much and I can't leave her. If she wakes up, I want her to know that she is not alone and that I will always be here. She doesn't need to try and fend for herself."

Kate could tell that Castle was starting to tear up. She wanted to squeeze his hand back. She wanted to tell him that she can hear him and she wanted to thank him for always being there for her. In fact, she even wanted to tell him that she loved him.

'Oh my gosh! Did I just think about telling him I loved him?' She did, and so badly wanted to.

The bad thing about this hovering thing is she couldn't cry, yell, or move. Just Listen.

Castle and Lanie's conversation stopped since Castle was trying to keep himself from sobbing in front of his daughter, Alexis. Lanie comforted him and they were silent. Kate moved to another conversation in the corner of the room. Ryan, Esposito, and Kate's dad were talking about Kate's shooter.

"We ran down to where the shot had supposively come from. When we got there, there was a black sedan speeding out of that back street behind the cemetery." Ryan informed Beckett's father.

"Yeah. I saw the plates and immediately tracked them down. Turns out it belonged to Lockwood." Esposito was trying to make sure Mr. Beckett knew that they were doing everthing they could. "We sent some guys to track it down. When they found the vehicle it had already been abandoned. CSU did a sweep and it was completely clean. I'm really sorry, Sir. We're doing everything-"

"Hey. I know. Thanks for your help gentlmen. I know my Katie would be glad to know that you guys are giving your all to try and find the man that attempted to kill her." Kate's father added. Ryan and Esposito's shook his hand and they walked out to do some more investigating.

'I want to be down there,' Kate thought. 'I want to help Esposito and Ryan. I need to find this shooter before someone else gets hurt. Castle has already risked his life for me multiple times. What if next time he's not so lucky and takes a bullet.' She looked down to see Martha and her grandaughter in the corner. They were watching Castle closely and were whispering back and forth. 'I can't do that to Martha and Alexis.'

Pain took over and she closed her eyes. What seemed like a 3 seconds later, her eyes reopened. She was finally calmed by the sight.


	3. Awakening

Thank you all for the reviews! It's a good feeling to know that people are enjoying you're work.

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Castle or any of the characters!

Prepare yourselves for chapter 3!

* * *

><p>Chapter 3: Awakening<p>

Castle started to squeeze her hand tighter when he saw Kate's eyes flutter open. She gave a small smile as he brushed the hair out of her eyes and behind her left ear.

"Hey," Castle said with a low voice. "She's awake guys." He said this without breaking eye contact with Kate. She ended up breaking it only seconds later to look around the room. It was filled with friends, family, and warm smiles.

As she continued to scan the room she realized someone was missing. Castle realized she thought something was wrong.

"What?" Castle asked.

"Wh- Where's Josh?" Kate was a little concerned.

"He is with another patient right now. He was actually here about an hour ago," Castle said while examining his watch.

"So he is in the building?"

"Yeah," Castle said with a fake smile that faded quickly. He tried to turn so Kate wouldn't notice but she did. She squeezed his hand and he turned back with a better smile. That smile that she so dearly loved and missed.

They locked eyes again and Castle could tell that she was trying to say 'I'm fine, Rick.' He let go of her hand, stood up and made room for other people to talk to her. Kate watched him walk to the corner, lean against the wall and continue to watch her.

She talked to her Dad, Lanie, Martha, Alexis, and of course Ryan and Esposito. The whole time she felt Castle's eyes on her, never leaving. She would glance over from time to time to make sure he hadn't left. She felt calm with him there.

An hour had passed before Josh entered the room. Kate was glad to see him at first but then she saw that Castle had immediately exited the room when he made his presence known. For some reason she didn't feel as comfortable or safe as she was when he was in the room.

Kate shifted awkwardly as Josh came to sit beside her and lightly placed a kiss on her forhead.

"How do you feel?" Josh asked as he rubbed her shoulder.

Kate was still a little frazzled from the uncomfortable feeling in the room since Castle left. "Uh, yeah. I'm okay I guess. I kinda feel like I've been hit in the chest wtih a bullet." she let out a small laugh and let the corners of her mouth lift just the slightest bit.

Josh smiled back and checked her vitals. "Well you should be back on your feet in a couple days. You are not, however, allowed to go back into work for at least another week." As he said this he raised an eyebrow then showed his teeth again.

"As you wish doctor," Kate spoke with a real smile this time.

Everyone had continued talking amongst themselves as Josh left. Kate waited for Rick to come back in the room but he didn't ever come back. Lanie noticed her staring at the door and walked over to her bedside.

"He has been here the whole time since you were shot," Lanie saw Kate try to act innocent. "Girl, You know who I am talking about. He probably just went home to change."

Kate relaxed knowing that Lanie and her were on the same page.

"He really cares about you. He was an emotional wreck before you woke up. If I had a man that loved me that much-" Lanie couldn't finish.

"You've got Esposito," Kate was able to tell her.

"That is true. Look all I'm trying to say is that you can't keep pushing those feelings away that we all know you have deep inside. Plus, I'm sure Castle doesn't want to see you with Josh. He stayed all night holding your hand and your just going to consider him a partner or friend?"

Just then Kate realized 'That is why he keeps leaving everytime Josh enters the room.' She faked a smile at Lanie and asked how she was doing.

"Don't you dare ask me how I am doing!" Lanie was not letting Kate avoid the subject. "You need to do something about this now! Well speak of the devil..." Lanie lowered her voice when she said those last couple words.

Josh had come back in. He had changed and looked like he was about to head home. Lanie gave her a look that she knew meant 'Do something... NOW!"

Kate fixed her look upon Josh and prepared herself for what she was about to tell him.

* * *

><p>Hey guys! Don't be afraid to tell me if I have made a spelling or grammar mistake. Thanks! Who wants to know how this whole Josh thing is gonna go?<p> 


End file.
